It’s so funny because just yesterday a friend shared a link to a blog, Perfection Pending. I read this re-post to husbands about their angry wives. Not only did I laugh out loud, but I felt like the original author, Jesica Ryzynski of Her View From Home, was dead on the money!
Because I too often feel like an angry person, myself; so through my life, I’ve had to create coping skills or good habits to help me manage. Some people might think that I am just bottling it, but really, I’m just trying to buy time to figure out what I am really feeling and why I am acting angry before others feel the repercussions of that anger.
So, as you can imagine, this article about angry wives is on my mind, but I get up and walk through my morning today like an angry wife. Sure as her article stated, my husband asked me too, “Are you okay? Something seems to be off with you this morning.”
Well, duh. The list Meredith gave husbands to deal with their angry wives… I hadn’t shown him the article yet. I just need to stop and read it to him. Or… I just need to use those coping skills and get to the root of my mood swing.
I chose honesty. I also chose to leave it alone after sharing the issue. You know? Rather than nagging and harping on something that I just explained once. It turns out, I got more results than when I keep up the complaints and the nagging.
Maybe I will eventually show my husband the article that Meredith re-posted, but for now, I’m just going to let him be himself, and I’m going to love him through the mess because I’m my own mess too. If I haven’t perfected him after 15 years of marriage, I’m probably not going to get perfect. But I sure do love his imperfect, perfect for myself.
So here are a few of my tips for the moody wife whose husband might read as angry:
Ask for sleep. Don’t assume they’ll read the article that says to give it to you or provide you a quiet place to nap. Ask. Demand, if you must.
Don’t let them be the ones to leave pee for you to sit in or step in. If you sprinkle, when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie! I’m just sayin’, TELL your husband that he might not want to be the one you're cleaning up after all the time. Teach him, over and over, to HELP pick up after himself, as he goes. I don’t appreciate hearing, I’ll do it later.
If you know he’s stopping for food on his way home, ask him to bring you some too. Don’t assume he will. This moody mama has 100 things to do besides feed me. I’m usually starving by the time I will make it a priority, but he doesn’t know that. He assumes I’m a grazer too.
When you’re just DONE, tell him you need to run an errand. Buy a cheap meal, sit in a parking lot with your favorite tunes on blast, and eat in your version of peace and quiet. Don’t expect him to send you, just find your way out the door, ALONE, and make the most of it. This can be more therapeutic than you think. Savor every bite.
Wake up early, if you haven’t pooped in days. Make a peaceful time to drink your coffee in full, so you can get through one, hot cup and poop before the kid wakes up because he, your hubby, won’t ever stand guard for you.
Revert back to number 4. Kill two birds with one stone, if the children’s tv and their little voices are driving you crazy.
Don’t ever let your husband buy the coffee, unless, of course, this is one area that you’ve perfected and he KNOWS not to wake the beast by bringing home the wrong (possibly decaffeinated) coffee.
It really doesn’t get any better than writing to the husband of the angry, moody wife, like Jesica‘s approach, but let’s be honest, my husband would read that article, get a laugh and move on with all his bad habits. I’m better off solving these issues and taking the chance with honesty when he notices something is off.
Today’s honesty encouraged him to FINALLY unpack his suitcase from last week’s vacation end AND earned me a thank you for the morning muffins I prepared and made available before he left for work. Total payoff.
What’s the last thing you learned about stabilizing your mood swings? Tell me below.