Have you ever listened to someone’s story or looked at their social media and wondered, “how did they get there?”
Let’s back up a minute because, of course, you have! You aren’t human, if you haven’t wondered how someone else reached their current status – or even didn’t reach a certain status sooner! And I’ve caught myself thinking these things for many years because here I am in my forties and the time I thought it would take to reach success status is long in the past.
Come on, mama, if you can relate, let a girl know because I’m tired of convincing myself I’m the only one wearing these shoes!
You see, from a young age, I had Corporate America Executive on my brain. I wanted to lead the industry and leave my mark, a legacy to be exact. The problem with that dream? It wasn’t really my own.
Don’t get me wrong, I am sure I dreamed it up. I’m a leader by nature, so I just assumed I’d lead anywhere I went to work. My dad was corporate, and from an early age, I was proud of the things he accomplished. Following in his footsteps would be an honor. But what would I do to get there? What industry interested me and would keep my attention?
Thinking back to when I first loved something I could do for a living (besides cheerleading), I go all the way back to 1994 when my family got our first MAC. Computers! Ah-ha! This is when I found something to keep my attention. But computers were new and college classes were limited for this field which made it hard to choose a focus. So, I got that full-time job in Corporate America with an IT firm while still taking college classes at night. Eventually, I found the right classes and got my education while simultaneously working my way into a position doing what I loved most, designing websites. Not exactly executive material, huh?
Maybe not, but this experience not only directed me to the education I would need to do what I love, but it also taught me a lot about designing my life rather than letting life happen to me. For the first several years, I managed to create opportunities to work for people that I knew, liked and trusted. But it’s hard to control and predict a position and status in Corporate America so, after about 9 years, I followed my husband’s entrepreneurial lead, left a job that made me feel tired, unsatisfied and downright unhappy to chase my new found dreams of becoming my own boss.
To be honest, as joyful as that day was, it was also one of the first times I truly doubted myself. Society doesn’t highlight how to take what you learn from one experience and apply it to another when your heart changes gears. Society doesn’t teach you that within failure is success. You know what I mean? Are you now or have you been in a role that you thought you wanted, but it led to unhappiness or lack of satisfaction?
Look, if you’re new here, you probably don’t know how stubborn I am. And back then, I did not admit doubt. Because I let all the doubts and negative self talk eat away at my mind, I depended on others to guide me towards success. But I pushed through while still doubting myself.
I’ve sold real estate, learned marketing and direct sales, assisted in a few start ups, partnered with my husband in his still operating landscaping business, signed up for network marketing – more than once, freelanced a lot of web design service, been a stay at home mom, volunteered as Coordinator of a local MOPS group, homeschooled my youngin’ during a season of pandemic while working from home, and I doubted myself the whole way. I wanted to quit everything. I figured life would be easier if I found another job. I knew I could make more money. But I also knew I’d lose my time freedom which now would mean giving up my mom schedule and opportunity to remain the primary influencer in my boy’s life.
It’s taken me fifteen hard years as an entrepreneur paired with motherhood to piece together some valuable lessons that have brought me to the headspace I’m in today. Through it, I learned some foundational sales skills – necessary for businessmen, entrepreneurs and moms alike; I learned commitment – and everything worth having in life requires commitment; and I learned stamina – how to put one foot in front of the other because only I will decide where I’ll go.
See, during all those years of doubt, I think my definition of success was something like “living the dream”, but I’ll tell you, I 100% never felt like I was living the dream. Therefore, my mind felt failure! I just wanted to design my best life which includes financial and time freedom while doing something that doesn’t feel like work! Can I get an Amen?
I know what qualities and traits I have to offer. I’m a hard worker. I’m creative. I have skills. I’m not opposed to small business or network marketing. I’m loyal. And I don’t quit!! So, why didn’t I figured it out? And how could I apply all of this to something that will make money without getting another j.o.b.?
It was time to make a change, and I decided to stop trying to reinvent the wheel. Thank you, 101 podcasts that helped me finally have this profound epiphany!! (Go ahead, drop your favorite podcast in the comments so we can compare virtual friends who inspire us on the daily!)
Now, I choose to collaborate instead of depending on myself. I choose to seek out wisdom from those who have already accomplished my end goal. I study myself and how to reach my vision (dream or whatever pretty word you call your goal) . I let mentors guide and coach me through some foundational steps that allow me to avoid a lot of waisted time “figuring it out”. I discovered my why which was stronger than any motivation I’d had before. (If you haven’t figured out what motivates you, like really gets you at your core, you’ll need to figure that out. A good tip for starting, grab a friend and some oils and go through the 7 levels of why.) I dug dig deep, identified and admitted the things that have held me back. And I reset my mindset to gratitude and focused my intentions. Today, I have a roadmap for my dream. I’ve got structure and a plan. And, by the way, I’ve redefined failure and success…
“Success is the ability to go from failure after failure without losing your enthusiasm.” – Unknown“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” – Jack Canfield“Failure is success in progress.” – Albert Einstein
I’m still doing what I know best, freelancing my web design services, but I’m now zoned in on serving the mom with a dream like me which gives my work so much more meaning. I’m sharing the hard lessons learned to help other stressed, working moms streamline their journey to design the life they want.
Doesn’t it make so much more sense to surround yourself with the right people, thoughts and encouragement, rather than being stuck with negativity, doubt, lack of confidence and all the other things that will hold you back?
In addition, I believe in a few things to propel you towards a goal:
Mindset, my friend. You can define a roadmap to your dream once you create the right mindset, practice it, stick to it and don’t quit it.
Focus. Stay focused in on one area until you create habits and systems.
Consistency. Again, don’t quit. Keep going.
Growth. Grow through what you go through!
If you are discouraged or looking for someone who can relate to the struggles you are going through on your journey, please reach out. I’d love to hear your story and be able to encourage you along the way. Comment below or drop me an email.