SEARCH RESULTS

Have you seen the super cute barn doors all over Pinterest? My dad built one for my master bedroom last year, but it’s been lost in the garage. Out of sight, out of mind much? Now that it’s in my sunroom, I’m finally getting it ready for installation. Just wait until you see the other side of this door, or better yet, wait until you see the finished product. Dad did a great job building this door from scratch and the hardware… came from Etsy. Oh, and ya'll, the door will replace a set of curtains. Yes. You heard that right! We currently have curtains up in the doorway where this will be hung. Needless to say, Pinterest is gonna make Mama and Dadee appreciate the darkness this will provide to our haven, and we might just enjoy the privacy too! 😉 This image is one that inspired me in the making of our barn door, but even more than that… the images on the blog where I found this image… inspire me to dream about my forever home. Check it out here, and dream with me. Come back. I’ll post pictures of our finished product here, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear about a Pinterest inspired project that you completed.

At forty, I’m probably not supposed to wake up to eat cake with my coffee, but would you look at this delish, delish strawberry cake!!! I have to brag on my sister real quick… My family told me how she stepped up to help my husband pull some details together, including decorations and this homemade cake that apparently took her days to complete because of the bake, freeze, and then ice process. Mmm Mmm Mmm, it’s so good, and I think you’d also eat it for breakfast! (Maybe I can get her to provide the recipe? Ya’ll, be sure to check back here for a link.) So, today, I woke up having ALL. THE. FEELS. Have you had these days? You know, sentimental like? As I stand in the kitchen, in one that my mother raised me in, freezing leftovers from this fabulous surprise birthday party from my husband, I can’t help but remember all the other birthdays I shared here with my family and some other really good people. I am so very thankful for the people God has put in my life. You’ve all helped mold me into who I am today. It might sound selfish to say “I am proud of who I’ve become“, but without self-worth & self-appreciation, who would we be? So, I say it loud & proud. Sure, I have flaws, areas that still need a lot of improvement, but I also have acknowledgment & awareness of those things that need special attention. (Can’t say I had such self-awareness at 21 or even 30.) So, to be at 40, under a very special roof, celebrating with friends both old & old (because let’s face it, the newer friends in this crew have still been around about 17 years… and that’s just not so new) is just a feel-good, feel-good feeling! If the new people in my life have been around for almost twenty years, how cool is it that I am still close with some people I’ve known for my entire life? And it’s VERY COOL that some of them were here celebrating another milestone with me. Seriously, some of my friends were in this room with me when we celebrated my 15th, 16th, 18th, and maybe even 21st; and to be here at 40, having some of the same faces around, was just an incredible feeling! Some people who learn that we cohabitate with my folks or that we live in Luthersville, GA ask me “why?” or look at me funny. This last weekend was a prime example of why we do. So we can be close, so we can share life, and so we don’t miss out on each other. Of course, there are days that it’s weird to live in the basement of the house my grandparents & parents built together, where my parents raised six children, but mainly because it’s not my own. Other days, I just wish it was my own, so I might not ever have to leave. Would you look at this beautiful view and tell me that you wouldn’t want to live here or raise your children here? Reflecting on the life that I’ve been fortunate to live thus far, I’m feeling super blessed to cross into my forties, where my parents were when they crossed into their forties, both of us having the opportunity to raise our children in the middle of this beautiful piece of property, sharing family & milestones… Better yet, my husband shares my love & desire to be here in this environment (…and oh, is it so fun to see him in his element)! For this season, we are right where God would have us to be. I’d love to hear back from you about what part of forty got you reminiscing and having all the feels! Start sharing below. XOXO, TT

Let’s be honest. As our birthdays approach faster & faster throughout the years, they bring a range of emotions that might look a bit like a heart rate – up & down, up & down. Though depending on your attitude, you might hear the music behind that beat! As my B I G 4 O approaches, I find myself listening to the music from my almost forty-year-old library because when I was young, I truly expected forty to behave that “over the hill” feeling or maybe even “life is over at forty” feeling. For me, thirty was much harder. The music I hear today reflects acceptance, adventure, authenticity, change, gratitude, kindness, love, and an abundance of memories! Maybe I see the glass half-full, as compared to thirty I saw the glass half-empty. It doesn’t really matter. I’m here. I survived the last decade, and I have a boatload of experience, wisdom, and memories to prove it. I am looking at 40 as 4 perfect 10’s because though there may be a lot of difference between twenty & forty, some things that are the same-same-but-different. So, if you’re about to hit this milestone, as I will in a week, think about some facts that are resonating with me. At forty, I still cherish memories as if I was creating a high school yearbook, but at forty, that yearbook is in pieces. The memories are spread throughout drawers & boxes because I printed pictures, I saved a magazine clipping, but I no longer have time to even put them in one place, much less find time to put them in a photo album or a scrapbook. At forty, I still dream like nothing can stop me, but at forty, I dream for others more than myself. At forty, I still think of others, but at forty, the handwritten note that I wrote them is found under a pile of mail that was misplaced and might never make it to the mailbox, much less get handed to them. At forty, I still look at my surroundings trying to notice the beauty in this world, but at forty, my goggles are forty years old. I see with more clarity. At forty (not at thirty), I love swapping my forty-something goggles for toddler goggles. At forty, I still say I am sorry, but at forty, I don’t wait for perfect timing. At forty, I still get disappointed, but at forty, I seek God’s wisdom & comfort, rather than justice.

I technically relocated to the country almost two years ago, but the market wasn’t in great shape and our home was in need of some minor attention. Since my husband’s work is on our old side of town, it helped to have a place for him to stay a few nights a week. However, the updates to the house were pretty much complete and the commute has definitely taken its toll. Time to sell. The Lord blessed us by allowing us to cross paths with buyers who were renting in our neighborhood. Though it’s been an unconventional process, we remained faithful asking God to bless this transaction and our efforts to sell to them. Finally, we are scheduled to close. With a closing date drawing near, we are making arrangements to start packing and moving, so tons of questions are crossing my mind. How will I pack the remaining items in my house with a 2-year-old who requires A LOT of attention? Will he unpack the box I just closed? Can we get away without a storage unit or will we have to splurge on that too? If we do need a storage unit, will it need to be climate control? Thankfully, I have an adaptable set of people working with me to help us find all the answers we need during this transition. Some obvious things on the to-do list include packing, but I had to determine if there was any furniture that we could let go of. Determined there is, I start photographing and listing items that can go from our current living arrangements, and, later, I’ll add the items from the house we are selling. It doesn’t matter if I’m yard selling or online selling IT IS STRESSFUL & NOT my forte. If you’re in the Luthersville, GA region and need a couch, faux leather chair, chest & nightstand, or baby crib, let me know by sending an email. Here are pictures, but you can also find them on letgo or 5miles. Antiqued Black Chest & Nightstand – $150 OBO Good Condition, yet the bottom drawer is in need of minor repair. Faux Leather Chair with Ottoman – $200 OBO Sturdy Couch – $100 OBO Sturdy Baby Bed – $75 OBO I am surely not the only one who’s lived this, but if you know of someone who is looking for any of these items, please have them make me an offer. We are ready to let go!! What essential oils do you prefer in a stressful situation? Frankincense is also on my list.

I’ve been told there is no set time to transition my toddler from a baby crib to a regular bed, but let me just tell you… This is an area I didn’t know I had preconceived ideas about until I did. Since before #MyBoy turned two, I felt the need to get him out of his crib. This urge to get him into a big boy bed just crept in and wouldn’t leave. It was probably me worrying about what other people thought more than anything, but I’ll tell you this… you can’t make parenting choices based on other people’s opinions. So, I chose to look for a few signs before transitioning #MyBoy from his crib to a bed, and I feel comfortable with the timing and results. Is he climbing out of his bed? I knew once this happened, we had safety concerns on our hands. Does he get out of bed at naps or bedtime? Once he started showing signs that he was becoming more confident climbing and getting in & out of the crib was approaching, I tested his obedience. Test him in a regular bed (at home or away) during bedtime (naps too). Does he stay in bed without testing authority or does he get up and down, drawing out the bedtime process? I tested this theory during a 3-night weekend away. We were lucky because #MyBoy stayed in the bed when I laid him down for naps and bedtime. Does he get excited when you talk about a big boy bed? If he gets excited when you mention a big boy bed, he may be ready. As I waited for the safety need to arrive, I enjoyed the phase of having an immobile toddler. In other words, he wasn’t getting out of bed after naps or first thing in the morning without my knowledge. If you’re living it, enjoy it, right? However, my intuition slowly informed me that it was time for the transition. I confirmed his readiness by testing the three areas mentioned and BOOM! We successfully transitioned him this past weekend. We live in a 2-bedroom space, but we have extra space in a small 10×8 room. I used the small room as his baby room to designate our 2ndroom as a guest space. Since it was time to transition and we already had a king-size bedroom suite in our guest room, we transitioned him straight to a new room at the same time. I am happy to report that this has been a parenting win! He is sleeping great in his new space and his old space is the perfect playroom, housing a lot of the toys that use to take up extra living room space. Now, let me acknowledge that my theory may not work for your 2.5-year-old. Ages for making this transition vary from home to home, family to family. There is not always an easy answer. While I was trying to make the best decisions for our family, I read the different blogs & baby-site articles. You may find your answers elsewhere. For instance, CaféMom.com gives 5 signs your toddler is ready for his own bed, and BabySleepSite.com says the average age for making the switch from crib to bed is between 3 and 4 years. Regardless of where or who you get your encouragement, trust your gut. A parent’s intuition will guide you through those choices that don’t need to be perfect. So give yourself a little grace, time to be sad when the time comes to move your toddler from a crib to a big boy bed because it is sad, and then move on. Enjoy the win and the next stage. Tell me how you knew your child was ready for this transition.

After a day outside with the family, playing hard, this mama needs some prayers. My sweet boy fell into the lake, not once but twice, yesterday. (Hold-on, haters! He was under adult supervision.) He definitely panicked, probably swallowed some nasty water, and may have created a healthy fear of water for the time being… Lake water intake may have also led to #pukeonislefour. That’s right! I cleaned this up twice, after bedtime. YAS! Moms know what that means; clean the kid and get him comfy, oil him up (Thieves essential oil blend on the feet and Tummygize… well, you get the drift), strip the bed, wash the contents of the bed in the sink and then throw them in the washer, remake the bed… but wait, all his favorite blanket are in they wash… so, oil him up again (Valor to the rescue) and snuggle long enough to see if he can go back down without puking! No? Okay, round two… You get the picture, but wait; then, I am told about secondary drowning which I’ve never heard about. Panic! Google! Panic again! Is my kiddo gonna survive the night or drown in his sleep? I had to check him 10 times before finally going to sleep at 1 am. Did I mention, I had the monitor volume all the way UP for the first time ever? Oh, and I was up checking him every few hours throughout the night… I’m a tired mama today, who is still a little stressed out (enter Stress Away essential oil)! #MyBoy has remained himself, showing no signs of troubled breathing, fatigue, or other odd behavior, since incident one. So, here’s the dilemma… am I being too confident in my parenting by avoiding a trip to the doctor? Should I be “better safe than sorry” and take him in for overnight observation even though we are safely past the 24-hour mark? What would you do, if you’re a mom and in my shoes? Use the comments to share your stories or give me feedback about what you would do in this situation. I look forward to the dialog because I’m only a mom of one, yet the eldest child of 6. I don’t panic often, and I typically choose trust in my intuition.

As I reflect on the blessings of 2016, I realize that I don’t remember planning the year. What happened, happened. Things fell into place in many areas, but other than a little monthly planning, I didn’t really make plans for 2016. Therefore, I didn’t have a lot of movement. I think it was a great year of reflection, so I am not looking at 2016 as a year of failure, by any means. However, I intend for 2017 to be a year of intention. I will be intentional and consistent in my planning. This year, I’m starting off with a little reflection but even more ambitions. Planning sessions, writing, dreaming… alone, and as a family. Throughout, I’ve been searching for a word to hit me and stand out as my one word for 2017. Today, it did. Change. Make a change! Be the one to change! Experience Change! Embrace Change! Help people change! Change people’s lives! …recognize when a change needs to be made! Are you ready to be intentional in 2017? Pick one word with me, and let’s carry our words thru 12 months of planning and see how this year differs from the last. Reflect and aspire, then come back and share your one word with me in the comments below, and let’s talk about making 2017 great!

Do you watch cooking shows? I have been letting it play in the background as I work lately. Oh my goodness, it’s hard not to get sucked in because these chefs and junior chefs are so inspirational and creative. Since Haylie Duff received her great grandmother’s cookbook from her dad, she’s found a love for cooking and is now serving up a fresh approach. If you haven’t seen any of her television series related to cooking, you should check it out. Today, I got inspired while watching Haylie’s America. After all it was almost lunchtime, so I headed to the kitchen to see what I had to work with. I found: a leftover, cooked Bubba Burger jalapeno cheese diced onion cut avocado sliced tomato spinach raw, sliced potato chips a bun ranch dressing ketchup mustard barbecue sauce Tabasco These ingredients screamed specialty burger. Let’s do this! First, I threw some diced onion in a pan with a little avocado oil. While these were caramelizing, I threw some raw, sliced potato chips on a pan and popped them in the oven on 350 degrees. I actually used too much avocado oil on the onions, so I fried a few chips with the onions before adding them to the pan in the oven – just for a little extra crisp, if you know what I mean. Next, you want to set the onions aside and melt some cheese on top of the bubba burger. Butter the bun and prepare it for grilling. While your meat is heating and cheese melting, mix your sauce. This sauce made the burger… I can’t tell you how much of each sauce I used, so be sure to mix these ingredients one at a time, in this order and taste between each ingredient. You should like the flavor at each tasting. I mixed ranch and ketchup first, until I liked the flavor. Next, I added barbecue sauce and 4 drops of tabasco for a little kick. Since it was missing something, I put in a little mustard too. It still wasn’t right, so I added a bit of ketchup until I got the right flavor. Mmm! I knew this was gonna be a good burger, once I completed this sauce. After the cheese and burger were melted, I toasted the buttered bun on the stove top, where I grilled the onions, heated the burger and melted the cheese. And once the bun was grilled, it was time to assemble this baby… Pull the chips from the oven, as long as they are crispy enough, dusting with a little sea salt. To assemble the burger exactly as I did, add grilled onion to the bottom half of the bun, add the burger with cheese, top with avocado and tomato, then drizzle a layer of sauce. Next add a few chips, drizzle another layer of sauce, top with spinach, close it with the top bun, and ENJOY! At first bite, I knew I’d made a winner burger. To add a little more flavor to my homemade chips, I dipped them in the leftover sauce. The combination of flavors required that I share this recipe with you. Might be a lot of work to make for more than a few people, but, nonetheless, it’s a tasty way to enjoy a leftover burger. When you decide to try this recipe, please come back and comment below. If you find a way to improve it, let us know that too! #cooking #diet

Seasons of Life! We have many and my current season is parenting. Like anyone else, I don’t want to do it alone. I’m not talking about needing a husband to help. I’ve got one of those, and he’s good at doing it with me. I mean, the need or desire to surround myself with other moms who understand the ups & downs of this season. I’ve been blessed with friends. Don’t think that I’m having a pity party for someone to come befriend me. I’m blessed with great friends. However, my best friends & I have each written our own, different stories. We’ve done our seasons in a different order than each other, not to mention, none of us live within 20 minutes of each other. So, I’m talking about needing a local circle of people to mommy with. I’m not the first with this need, so go ahead and stop making that face. I just might be one of the few to say it out loud!! What am I gonna do about it though? I’m going to be intentional, that’s what! I’m intentionally being friendlier, putting myself out there, seeking opportunities to make friends with other moms in the same season of life as I. It’s funny. Until #MyBoy was almost two, I didn’t realize this need would come. We lived in our own little world as best friends. We did everything together. We slept at the same time, ate together, and even played together. Then, he needed friends. He wanted to interact with people his own age, and time with mommy wasn’t as sufficient. Now, I probably did have a little pity party about that for a hot minute, but once I understood and got use to the idea of helping him make new friends, I realized this was gonna benefit me too. I’d get a new friend or two out of the deal, if I’m lucky. Last month, I visited MOPS of Newnan. Guess what? I love it. This Friday, I’ll be joining. I’ll be a member of Mothers of Pre-Schoolers, a room full of lovely ladies who are in the same season of life as me. I’m excited, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t have any work ahead of me. As a matter of fact, we had a great speaker at our last meeting. Melanie Dale. She’s the author of “Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends“. Now, I’m laughing my way through this well-written, funny dialog of what the next year of my life is probably going to look like. She describes meeting new mom friends as a dating scene, having to go through all four bases again. Of course, these bases are different than when I was dating to find a husband, but they are non-the-less bases that you go through when meeting new friends. Again, I’m blessed to already have fourth-base-friends, but I’m looking forward to going through these bases with new mom friends who will share parenthood with me in this season of my life. If you have a funny story about mom-dating, I’d love to hear it. If you want to start a dialog about your current season of life, get the conversation started. Share with me by commenting below. If you want to get your hands on Melanie’s book, find her on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Actually, I’m sure she will be glad for you to become the proud owner of either one of her books by purchasing them from Unexpected.org. That’s right! I did buy both of her books, so when I wrap up her first, I’ll dive in to book #2, “It’s Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn’t Choose“. 33.1799574-84.7002041 #community #motherhood

I’m sure you had a similar experience which may have brought you here today, or maybe not, but here’s a little bit about why I’ve been searching for the best homemade laundry detergent. I had already swapped us from a more typical detergent to a Free & Clear detergent, prior to baby’s arrival, because my skin was so sensitive during pregnancy. I began evaluating all the products that we use, seeking cleaner, less toxic, less chemically enhanced products. A you may know, I’ve been using essential oils for quite sometime. Since furthering my education about what essential oils can do for us, I’ve been on a DIY path that keeps me looking for the next product to make at home. Last year, I made our first homemade laundry detergent. It was basic & clean. It worked sufficiently for my laundry and that of #MyBoy. (Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, Arm & Hammer Washing Soda combined with Castile Soap… that’s it.) However, it left my husband’s work clothes smelling a little dirty (like when you can’t wash the smell of motor oil out of a rag or your mechanic husband’s clothes… ever!). One batch lasted me 10 months, proof of big cost savings as my previous detergents had to be replaced every month. That, I liked, even though the savings was a bonus. However, if I was going to continue investing the time into my own batch, it needed to work on my husband’s stinky work clothes too. After some research about what products are clean, but actually do a good job cleaning, I heard about the EWG Guide to Healthy Cleaning. Amazing. I was able to confirm the first three products I was using all received a rating of A (best). So, I was left to find an additional product with a good rating that I could add to my recipe which would also help clean my husband’s clothes. Hot dang, I found it. Who’s heard of Oxiclean? Well, don’t be mistaken. Regular Oxiclean is rated at an F (worst). However, OxiClean Baby or OxiClean Free got rated with an A. So, I took the gamble that one of these A rated products would do the job for me, and it withstood my test. *This detergent is naturally low foaming, which means it can be used in both standard and HE machines. WIN!!! **Know your environment. Protect your health. Check the rating of your products at EWG.org. ***Grab washing soda like I used here. Get baking soda in bulk here. Get your Kirk's Original Coco Castile Soap like I use here. OxiClean Baby is quite hard to find; order in advance here. I rarely add epsom salt to my recipe anymore, but when I do I buy it in bulk from Sam's Club. However, for quick access, follow this link. Now that I’ve shared my list of ingredients, and sampled it for several weeks to prove it provides the results that I want, who wants to know how to put it together? Well, here are the directions: Shred / Grate Castile Soap into very small bits. (I used the grater attachment for my food processor. After grating, I added 1/2-1 cup of baking soda to the food processor and pulsed it with the blade. This process helped take it down to a powder form.) NOTE: I did not have any remaining scent in my food processor after washing. Mix the remaining ingredients into a large container, stirring well. Optional: Add up to 28 oz. of Epsom Salt soaked in essential oils for a natural softener and laundry scent. Add 1 tbsp (no more than 2 tbsp) of detergent per load of laundry. It takes less than a commercial grade detergent because there are no fillers. TIPS: If you haven’t use white vinegar as a safe and effective laundry softener, try it. Here is a recipe that I use and love with essential oils for scent. Purchase Wool Dryer Balls for static removal, and add essential oils for an added scent boost. Stain Remover Tips: I also have a bleach replacement system without scary chemicals. It’s called Thieves Household Cleaner. Directions: Put Thieves Household Cleaner (undiluted) directly on the stain. Add to Washing Machine and run through a Soak Cycle with like colors using 2 tbsp of homemade laundry detergent (mentioned above) + 1 cap of Thieves Household Cleaner. Without running the load through a Rinse Cycle, run it through a Regular Cycle. Wallah! Clothes are clean again! Like my recipes? Subscribe to my blog or follow me on Facebook and never miss a tip. Have questions or feedback, please respond in the comments below. XOXO, TT #community #toxicfreeliving #younglivingessentialoils

#MYBOY IS TWO COOL After throwing a killer first birthday for my son last year, we had such a hard time deciding what to do for his second. Who wants an invite? Who will have hurt feelings if they don’t get an invite? How many years is the party really for the parents vs the kiddo? Well, we decided it was already time to real it in. We kept it to immediate family and our kiddo’s besties, and here’s hoping we didn’t hurt any of our dear friend’s feelings… We love you all! Since the kid loves water, we did a little slip-n-slide themed party, and the kiddos (young and older) helped him celebrate by getting real wet!!! #PARTOFMEWANTEDINONTHEACTION We are so blessed to have such an amazing circle of family who drove from near and far to celebrate our boy! I feel he is worth your miles, and I hope you enjoyed your time with us as much as we enjoyed our time with you!!! It’s funny; Rhett has been going through this shy phase. So, if you’ve seen him act a little clingy towards his mama this summer, I hope you’ve not taken it personally. Stick around for ten or fifteen minutes and he’ll be your best friend. …and by the way, he’s growing into all his toys. He loves them all, and we appreciate you helping provide him with such a variety! Before I enter another part of the story from his birthday party, I want to stop and mention some of my favorite things about this kid of mine. He has called me “Mama Mine” for almost a year; it’s just recently turning into “Mama” or “Mommy”. It’s pretty sweet to hear him say “Dadeeeee”, especially when TBone’s out of town and we FaceTime him. He calls his puppy, Chevy, “Sheee”. He is starting to refer to himself in third person, finger pointing at himself and saying “Rhee”. He loves the outdoors. He wants to be outside ALL DAY LONG. He wants to hunt with his daddy already. “Dee” “Dadeeeee” “Rhee” “Bye Bye” Though sometimes a little jealousy creeps in (*wink*wink*), I love how much he loves his Lollee. “LaLaLaLaLaLa” He can name all his grandparents and almost all his cousins, though the pronunciation is not perfect, it’s sweet to hear him try. Overall, he’s a pretty good kid, and I could not be more in love with another human being… TBone, except for you!! All right… since the news has already been shared about us being pregnant and losing the baby, I’m gonna go ahead and share some fun pictures that I was able to capture when we shared our pregnancy news with these party guests. I mean, if you’ve got a house full of your closest, why not surprise them with an exciting announcement! Right? If I may, I’ll set the stage. I had everyone surrounding the birthday boy for pictures. I made a few signs to make sure I was acting like myself. After we did candles, I said, “Oh wait, let’s get a few more shots with these signs.” I pulled out one that said, “Hootie Who, Rhett’s Two!” Cute… haha… pics taken. Then, “Oh wait, I have one more!” As I passed this sign across the table for everyone to read, I was trying to capture facial expressions because it was the announcement. It said, “Only Child EXPIRING February 2017”. Check out these priceless photos… This was a lot of fun, but weirdly… I got so nervous. I was shaking and strangely worried about the response. Anyway, this announcement is a piece of our story. Though we’re extremely disappointed that our son’s “only child status” is no longer expiring in February of 2017, I couldn’t help but share this part of the day. Once again, thank you so much for sharing in our day and for loving us through the ups and downs of life. We are continue to pray for two more feet in our family, and would be more than honored for you to pray about this with us! If you want to see more pictures from this birthday event, please visit Photography by TT, and if you were at this party and want to leave a note for his birthday book that wasn’t ready, please leave it in the comments below for me to transfer to the book. Until next time… XOXO, TT 33.1799574-84.7002041 #faith #motherhood

Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes, but how do we manage the emotional roller coaster? Sometimes it takes time to work through personal disappointment before one can be ready to share the experience. I am here on this topic today because I have had enough time to process my own disappointment. My family has experienced a loss, and it’s been difficult working through the emotions that come with it. What have we lost? A baby. We had a miscarriage. We want to grow our family, and after the first, long experience of trying to conceive, we were pleasantly surprised that it only took 3 months to conceive this child. I am aware of miscarriage statistics for the first trimester, so I was super hesitant to share the news of this pregnancy without confirming a heartbeat. In week 7, I started bleeding which led me to believe maybe we were going to lose the baby, but I didn’t panic knowing that some women do this throughout their pregnancies. I got in with the doctor by week 8, and we were able to confirm the pregnancy through a urine test and ultra sound. The doctor said we had a “strong heartbeat”. Blood work for thyroid and progesterone levels was next to assure I was taking care of myself. I was sent home with instructions to take it easy, but I was confident this baby was okay, after hearing and seeing such a strong heartbeat. Within 24 hours, I received a call from my nurse saying that I had low progesterone levels and needed to pick up and start a prescription right away. Of course. I felt great, never had any severe cramping or other symptoms of miscarriage, and within a week of starting this prescription, I stopped bleeding. I was so thankful and excited about my next appointment. In week 10, I went back to the doctor. (Might I add, I took #MyBoy. I told him we were going to see our baby on the TV!) As soon as the doctor started the ultra sound, I started to panic and with a gasp said, “I don’t see anything.” He replied, “I don’t either.” Immediately, I felt loss, sadness, disappointment, and I felt guilt for having my son with me to witness the emotions that followed. “How could I have missed this?” “How could this happen without me knowing?” They put me in a private room where I was given time to collect my emotions. The doctor then came in to explain why miscarriages happen and tried to reassure me that this wasn’t my fault. He answered other questions that I had, and closed with the fact that we could try again after having one full cycle. The days that followed were hard and super sad. My husband was out of town for work. Until he was able to put his arms around me, I was not truly able to start healing. I guess I needed to share the loss with him first. I’m thankful my family was nearby and sensitive to my needs, surrounding me with space, childcare, support, but mostly love. Within a few weeks, I had some previously scheduled time with some of my closest girlfriends too. Wow! God knows our needs! Some might think that I’ve recovered quickly. Does that mean I am not sad enough? Does that mean I don’t feel a loss, or that I have used a few coping methods that helped me sort through the emotions quickly? Let me clarify. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this loss. I’ll never forget, but here is what I can tell you has been helpful for me to sort through the emotions and keep my positive outlook. Prayer. Often, we want to ask God “why?” Never, in the past, has this given me the answers I was needing, so I have learned to trust Him; to trust His purpose & plan, even when I don’t know it nor understand it. I continue to pray that God gives me the will to take care of my family, understanding that His reasons are the best for my earthly family, and strength to smile and provide a happy environment for #MyBoy. He has blessed me with one child who depends on me, and needs me to love him, care for him, and teach him how to survive in this world in which we live… and it comes with sadness and sorrow. I pray that I navigate it gracefully. Writing. I have always used a journal for my thoughts, but if you’re reading this, you see that I’m starting to share my thoughts with the world through blogging too. It’s therapeutic to discover your feelings are shared by others and you’re not a lone in this world. When you first experience that your story positively affects someone else, it feels right… then you keep doing it! I thought about keeping this experience to myself, or waiting until we possibly conceive again. None of that felt authentic to myself. If others can add words that will help console my emotions, I need them. If my share helps others through their own loss, I want them to have my support. Last, I did not want to share this after successfully conceiving again because I didn’t want to take away from the rawness of these emotions and my experience. Essential Oils. I immediately looked up which oils to use after the loss of a loved one. Forgiveness and Ylang Ylang were listed, so I diffused them for 2-3 days straight. No Doubt, I believe they helped me sort through the sadness and roller coaster of emotions that immediately followed the news of our miscarriage. My family later informed me of the moment they knew I would be okay. It was about a week and a half after I received the news. Of course, we all need time to process, to cope, but I am not sure I would be ready to share this story, if I had not gone through this process of surviving disappointment. If you have experienced disappointment and need me to remember you in my prayers or want to share the coping methods that helped you process disappointment, please share in the comments below. XOXO, TT #community #faith #motherhood #younglivingessentialoils